Today I was reminded that God really does have a sense of humor, and he sure is a funny guy.
Logan and I have been in the process of applying for medicaid for prenatal coverage for this baby. It was going pretty smoothly, until they went to pull up my file, and under my social security number, was listed a DIFFERENT PERSON. They officially put me through the ringer to get it straightened out, and they did fix it all, and cleared that other person from my records, and it's all fine and dandy NOW, but AT THE TIME, it was mega, mega, mega stressful.
I don't handle stress well.
The week before our wedding I was in the hospital with an ulcer.
Again, I do NOT handle stress well.
I know it's something I need to work on.
Apparently, when you are stressed, your body releases toxins. When toxins are released, it stresses the baby out. When lots are released at once, your body wigs out. These toxins decided to set up camp in my right shoulder, trap muscle, and neck. A week ago, I was sore, and had head aches, but as the week went on, the pain got much more intense, and by Friday I could barely lift my arm, or turn my head. I couldn't get from laying down to sitting up or visa versa without Logan helping me, and I couldn't roll over without help either. I was in pain, folks. So, after several nights of not sleeping well, and hurting all the time, I went back to my doctor to get it checked out. My muscle kept doing this weird charley horse thing, so they put cortizone in the muscle via 3 shots, prescribed me a low dosage of lortab to help me sleep, and put me in this sexy, sexy neck brace to help my muscles relax.
Don't lie, I know you are super jealous.
So today, when I'm finally starting to feel better, I'm craving egg salad sandwiches, like bad. I start to boil eggs, which I've done before without problems. I go through the whole process, and when I'm done I start to peel the eggs....and the yolks are mushy runny. I get on my trusty Google and see how to salvage the other 5 eggs. Some lady said she sometimes microwaved her eggs at the very end to finish cooking the yolk. 2 minutes at 50% she said. Cover with saran wrap she said. Google has never failed me yet, I said, and decided to give it a try.
I placed them in a bowl, covered in saran wrap, and got those little eggies in the microwave. I went to the bedroom to continue with some homework, and KAAAAAAABBBBLAAAMMMOOOO!! A huge crash came from the kitchen. I thought the microwave somehow fell off the counter.
WRONGO!!!!
All 5 eggs spontaneously exploded in the microwave, out the doors, and across my kitchen, splattering the wall ACROSS THE ROOM over my oven. It was on the fridge, down the cabinets, in the sink, all over the floor. And when I opened the microwave, I found this...
So I had a choice people, I could laugh or cry.
And I, Camille Marie Spence, in my neck brace of sexiness,
sat down in the middle of the egg mess,
and laughed my freaking head off.
And then I took pictures. And then I texted my husband. And then I called my mom, who also laughed, to the point of nearly peeing her pants.
Sometimes you can only laugh or cry,
But laughing is MUCH MORE FUN.
Especially when you pee ;)
ReplyDeleteCamille! That is sooo funny! I read it out loud to Drew and he laughed too! I'm so glad you could laugh about it. That's a disaster! lol!
ReplyDeleteheheheh that is pretty dang funny!
ReplyDeletePS since you don't handle stress well, you may like these books "feelings buried alive never die" and "you can heal your life". This always helps me when my emotions get locked in. I live off these books!!!
oh my goodness. that is hilarious. when it rains it pours right? i hope your neck feels better soon!!!
ReplyDeleteBe forewarned.... if you guys have grad school ahead of you and you opt to go the medicaid route for the duration.... you will get to have stress-fests on this scale every 6 months.
ReplyDeleteWorth it? Maybe. But oh, so, not fun.
Bahahah Classic.
ReplyDelete